1 Peter 3

Read 1 Peter 3.

Defensiveness is a natural human response to fear. God created us with a self-protecting instinct, so when we feel threatened, we become guarded about what we do and say. We also get ready to run away or fight, and we look signs of increasing danger.

These instincts are to protect us from physical harm but they can be triggered when someone tries to harm us with words or with deception.

If you’ve been hurt often, you are probably more defensive than you naturally would be and possibly more than others around you are. The same is true if you’ve been (or felt) threatened repeatedly. It is also true in any area of your life where you feel vulnerable. My math skills are abysmal so I feel anxious when I have to make change or do some kind of calculation in front of another person. I’m sensitive to criticism in that area and always feel like I’m being judged, so I can get defensive sometimes. [BTW: being open about my weakness there makes me less feel defensive about it].

Since you and I know that we have weaknesses and vulnerabilities, we should realize that others do as well. When people surprise us by overreacting to something we said or did, we often react with defensiveness. They attack us verbally so we hit back with words ourselves. The situation can often escalate from there into a full-blown argument.

But if, in the moment, we realize that the other person is feeling defensive because they have a history of feeling attacked or a special sensitivity in that area, we have learned to “be sympathetic” as 1 Peter 3:8, which we read today, commands us to be. That gives us an opportunity to respond with love (v. 8c: “love one another”), to feel compassion for that person’s pain or weakness (v. 8d: “be compassionate”), and to swallow our pride (v. 8e: “be… humble”). That’s the internal process that growing in Christ creates in us.

The outward result of that internal process is stated in verse 9: “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.” If someone has ever blessed you with compassion, love, and kindness, then you know what a blessing that is. How much would our families benefit if we husbands brought that kind of consideration to our wives (v. 7) and if wives realized how attractive submission to their husbands is (v. 5)? It is so much easier to be obedient to those commands when you begin by being sympathetic to what your spouse.

How much would our church benefit if we were humble enough to be sympathetic and compassionate to those around us? How would your workplace improve? Might God use your loving attitude toward others to open doors to witness for Christ (see verses 15-16)?

Joshua 18-19, Jeremiah 41, Proverbs 17:1-14

Read Joshua 18-19, Jeremiah 41, and Proverbs 17:1-14 today. This devotional is about Proverbs 17:9:

“Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.”

Proverbs 17:9

If someone sins against you or hurts you, even unintentionally, it is wise to speak to that person and resolve the issue directly, in person. Jesus commanded us to seek reconciliation with anyone who might have an issue with us (Matt 5:23) and with anyone who has sinned against us (Matt 18:15). So remaining silent about problems in our relationships is not a biblical way of dealing with those problems.

Sometimes we tell ourselves that something shouldn’t bother us or that “it’s no big deal.” That approach can work if we do actually forget what was done to us. More often, however, the problem simmers and produces resentment and distrust.

There is no virtue in hiding problems; in fact, they usually resurface later and with greater intensity when we can’t take it any more.

So what do we make of Proverbs 17:9a, “Whoever would foster love covers over an offense”? On the face, it appears that Solomon is telling us not to deal with issues directly. But Proverbs are designed so that the first line is clarified by the second line. Sometimes that clarification comes by contrast, other times clarification consists of just a restatement of the first line. Given that, Proverbs 17:9b says, “….but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.” This phrase suggests that “covering over an offense” in the first line refers to telling others–friends, family, or other third parties–not the person who sinned.

In other words, I interpret this Proverb to be teaching that, once a matter has been dealt with, you drop it and never talk about it with anyone else. That is, if someone sins against me or hurts me in a way that causes me resentment, I deal with that biblically by speaking directly to that person to try to resolve it. Once it is resolved–or even if it isn’t but I’ve tried my best–then the best course of action is not to tell anyone else about the incident. Verse 9b says, “whoever repeats the matter separates close friends” to remind us of the destructive power of gossip. It is so much easier to complain about someone else than it is to speak directly to that person and resolve problems biblically, but it is only “easier” until the damage is done.

How much better would your relationships be if you dealt with problems directly and biblically?

1 Peter 3

Today’s devotional reading is 1 Peter 3.

Defensiveness is a natural human response to fear. God created us with a self-protecting instinct. When we feel threatened, we become guarded about what we do and say, we get ready to run away or fight, and we look signs of increasing danger. These instincts are to protect us from physical harm but they are triggered when someone tries to harm us with words or with deception. If you’ve been hurt often, you are probably more defensive than you naturally would be and possibly more than others around you are. The same is true if you’ve been (or felt) threatened repeatedly. It is also true in any area of your life where you feel vulnerable. My math skills are abysmal so I feel anxious when I have to make change or do some kind of calculation in front of another person. I’m sensitive to criticism in that area and always feel like I’m being judged, so I can get defensive sometimes. [BTW: being open about my weakness there makes me less feel defensive about it].

Since you and I know that we have weaknesses and vulnerabilities, we should realize that others do as well. When people surprise us by overreacting to something we said or did, we often react with defensiveness. They attack us orally so we hit back with words ourselves. The situation can often escalate from there into a full-blown argument. But if, in the moment, we realize that the other person is feeling defensive because they have a history of feeling attacked or a special sensitivity in that area, we have learned to “be sympathetic” at 1 Peter 3:8, which we read today, commands us to be. That gives us an opportunity to respond with love (v. 8c: “love one another”), to feel compassion for that person’s pain or weakness (v. 8d: “be compassionate”), and to swallow our pride (v. 8e: “be… humble”). That’s the internal process that growing in Christ creates in us.

The outward result of that internal process is stated in verse 9: “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.” If someone has ever blessed you with compassion, love, and kindness, you know what a blessing that is. How much would our families benefit if we husbands brought that kind of consideration to our wives (v. 7) and if wives realized how attractive submission to their husbands is (v. 5)? It is so much easier to be obedient to those commands when you begin by being sympathetic to what your spouse.

How much would our church benefit if we were humble enough to be sympathetic and compassionate to those around us? How would your workplace improve? Might God use your loving attitude toward others to open doors to witness for Christ (see verses 15-16)?